There are two loads worth of laundry dumped all over my bed preventing me from going to sleep right now. I'm avoiding them.
I'm avoiding them for the noble reason of thanks giving because it is at times like this, when I feel so muddled and weary and just empty, that I feel the greatest need to be thankful.
I am in desperate gratitude for the following:
- my husband loving me and speaking encouraging words to me when I have lost my mind and need someone to help me find it again (this happens often)
- surprise gifts of fruity Mentos or Starburst or Skittles
- friends who will do whatever it takes to help you when you are at a total loss- this includes trekking to Wal-Mart to tear through the bottle isle to find a nipple that my baby will take
- encouraging texts that make me feel cared for
- friends who stay up late with you to keep you company because they know you need it, even though they have families of their own
- parents who provide meals and babysit and bless with car repairs and date nights and just keep giving so selflessly
- the fact that Evie is so loved by the above mentioned people
When I think about these things and the fact that I have a lot more I can add to this list, I am so humbled. Through the love of our family and friends, we see God's blessing. We didn't do anything to earn this kind of shower of gifts. There have been times through these last few months where I didn't feel like God heard my prayers. I didn't feel like he was doing much of anything to help me.
Now, as I look back on that time, I am astounded because there He was all along. And this has given me refreshed perspective on what is true.
He always provides. He helps me when I need it. He never leaves me.
I see Him in the eyes and hearts of the people who love me.
To all of you, it doesn't seem like enough words to convey how I feel but know that I have packed a whole lot of love and gratitude into these small words.
*A slight update: I waited until morning to actually post this, and thought you might like to know what became of my laundry. Well, the good news is it was relocated rather quickly right before I went to sleep, so I slept just fine. The bad news is that it didn't quite make it into the dresser. I'll leave it at that.