My husband, Mike, and I celebrated our two-year anniversary in October. It is amazing to think of all that has happened to us in these two years that seem to have floated by so deceptively fast. So much change. So much newness. So much working out issues together. We've seen what is left after the butterflies in our tummies have all flown away and the wondrous excitement of finally being together for life has simmered and cooled.
I am thankful that I can say we've discovered something even better: a love that is deeper, a friendship that is truer and a commitment that is unconditional. We know each other's weaknesses, struggles and imperfections, and we would still choose us if we had to do it all over again.
Unfortunately, I need to be reminded of this fact sometimes. The other night, as we were going to sleep, I irately denied Mike's attempts to cuddle and isolated myself to my side of the bed. After several minutes of weighty silence, in a tired voice, he said he doesn't understand why I am so mad at him all the time. And he was right. I find myself so moody and irritable lately and mostly over stupid things that really shouldn't matter. When I am tired and a little scuffed up around the edges by life, I forget how good I really have it. I start thinking I want a little bit more out of all this; more time for myself, more romantic gestures from my husband, more praise from other people, more success outside of the home. Then I remember this verse from Psalms:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture."
Dwell in the land.
I haven't been dwelling in my own land. I'm too focused on that land over there with its rolling green hills and flowing rivers that seem so much better than mine.
Another way to translate this verse is,
"Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness."
Choosing to dwell, to settle into my own land brings about the contentment I need to enjoy it and to remain faithful to it.
But how do I dwell?
The answer is in the next verse:
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
To delight in the Lord is also to delight in what He has given. To delight in a husband who I can share anything with and know I am still loved, who can laugh with me and cry with me, who is so quick to forgive. To delight in caring for a new little soul we have created together. To delight in having the time to write about it here.
I think as I delight myself in the land the Lord has given me to dwell in, I will find that I already have everything my heart truly desires.