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my full plate is small, and that's ok.

March 3, 2015 Sara Smith
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As a new mom, I am learning many things.  One of them being that I cannot do as much as I used to.  In college, I crammed my days full to the brim.  Full journalism course load plus internship at a magazine plus part-time job at a bagel shop plus high involvement in my church plus whatever else I thought I had time for.  So when I look back at alI I accomplished with my days and I look at what I accomplish with them now, my first thought is to think I'm not doing enough.  My first thought is to feel guilty.  

Like I should go scour the internet for opportunities to pack in some volunteering, at least.

This is something I've been grappling with for a while, as you'll see in my previous post, here.

Sometimes I imagine there is this outside critic peering in at my life.  And this critic is thinking, Wow...why isn't she doing more?  All she does is hang around the house and take care of a baby and a husband.  

And little old me just shrugs her shoulders and shrinks back a bit and looks at the floor because, yeah...it is a little true that this is all I do.  

But you know what's truer?  This critic needs to be smacked in the face.

I don't know where, but somewhere in our history as women, as human beings, we've decided that more is always better.  Somewhere along the line, it has become unambitious and boring and lazy to be just a mom or just a wife.  

But I am learning a couple things.  

One is that a packed schedule is not always a better schedule.  In college, I was just doing what people told me I was supposed to be doing, and there wasn't much joy behind any of it.  I was spreading myself too thin and basically doing many things in an alright manner instead of focusing on a couple things and doing them well.  I'm learning there is wisdom in not packing my schedule to overflowing. 

In this season of my life, I am blessed (yes, blessed) to be able to spend most, if not all, of my time fine-tuning my art of being a wife and mother.  And this is an art, for there is much room to grow and be creative with my natural gifts within these roles.  I am learning this is not something to take for granted.  Though, sadly, I often do.  

The second thing I am learning is that though my plate is small, it is full.  

I work hard.  My days are filled.  I am rarely bored with nothing to do.  At times this work is challenging.  At times it is mundane and tedious.  But never is this work trivial or flippant or unimportant. 

Sometimes I worry I'm not doing enough.  I'm wracked with anxiety over how I can accomplish something significant so that others will think I'm doing enough.  But when I stop for a moment, when I let God lift me out of my mud puddle of soiled thoughts, I realize the value of the work I'm doing.  I am, indeed, accomplishing much.

What could be more meaningful, more significant, than trying to devote my time to the well-being of the person who vowed to spend the rest of his life with me?  Or to spend my days raising a tiny being in hopes that she will grow into a confident, faith-filled woman?  And if this is all I have time for, I shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed that I can't do more because my work is good and worth doing.  There is joy and satisfaction to be had in this work.  If others want to tell me differently, they are sadly mistaken.

I'm not saying that being more than a wife and mother is wrong.  I'm saying that for me, this is all I'm choosing to focus on right now, and that is not wrong either.  

Maybe someday in the future I'll feel ready to add some things to my plate.  I would be excited about that.  But if I do, I want it to be for the desire to please God or for the simple joy of doing whatever it is and not because I want to feel accomplished or because I want others to know I do a lot.  

For right now, though, my plate is full with what I have.  With being just a wife and just a mom.

And that's ok.

ย 

ย 

In motherhood, gaining wisdom, favorite post Tags being a wife, stay-at-home-mom, freedom to be just a wife and mom, full plate
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Feathers & Roots | blog about motherhood and faith

Hi there, I'm Sara!  

Mama bird to 2 little ladies + Wife + Saved by grace.

This is where I share my stories of  motherhood and faith. 

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@sarasmith1021

This is what happens when I try to get a nice photo with both of my daughters...๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜˜ #threenager
โค๏ธโค๏ธ
Happy 30th birthday to this guy! Weโ€™ve known each other since we were 18, and itโ€™s amazing to think back on all the life weโ€™ve lived together since then. Who knew this boy I๏ธ happened to sit next to on a park bench my freshman year in college was going to be my husband, best friend and father of my children. Happy birthday, love, I๏ธโ€™m so excited to see what this year will hold. โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
P.s.- I๏ธ wanted to throw him a Thirty, Flirty and Thriving party but he didnโ€™t share my enthusiasm for that idea...๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ฌ(Major ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ to you if you get my reference. ๐Ÿ˜˜) P.p.s.- I๏ธ know Iโ€™ve taken a lot of time away from here, and I๏ธ would like to share about that at some point...Iโ€™m very much still figuring out how I๏ธ feel about being here in a healthy way. But for now I๏ธ thought it would be okay to share this sweet photo and take a minute to celebrate my hubby. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐ŸŽ‰
A very, very belated birthday photo. Can't believe my first baby is 3 already, and in one year I'll be 30... ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜ญโค๏ธ๐ŸŽ‰
I debated over posting this but decided that the perspectives and wisdom in this book are way too good not to share, and so here I am. I've been pretty absent on here lately, and I'd like to be really honest with why in the hope that if any of you share my struggles, you will find encouragement and peace in what's true and also in knowing that you aren't alone. 
I've struggled badly, in every way possible I think, as a result of using this little app in an unhealthy way. Insecurity, comparison, envy, loneliness, rejection, obsessing over growing a following, depression, confusion over what true community looks like here(and if it's even possible), checking my phone over and over again to see my comments and likes, snapping at my kids for interrupting me, ignoring my husband, anxiety over which photo to post...the list goes on. You name it, I've felt it. And I'm really tired. I've experienced firsthand that life can be lonely and tedious, and sometimes we feel like our lives won't matter or be seen unless they're recorded here and lots of people like and comment on them. And I've also experienced firsthand that this way of seeking validation has not in any way been worth the amount of energy I have put into it. It's never given me the peace and satisfaction I've been looking for because our worth as human beings was never meant to be reduced to such levels when there is a God who gives us a worth and meaning beyond words. 
So I've decided to take a huge step back from social media...not sure for how long...but I want to figure out how to be here in a way that is healthy and meaningful, that brings joy to myself and others, that maintains authenticity and ultimately points to the One who brings true peace and satisfaction to all our desires. Instagram will never fill us. It will never validate us. No human praise or affection ever will.  No amount of followers or brand collabs or photo features or free stuff or complimentary comments or Follow Fridays ever will. If these words hit a nerve with you, I can't recommend this book enough. Thank you @tonyreinke for allowing God to speak wisdom through you. (Post continued in comments....๐Ÿ‘‡)
Now that Nora is walking, she's been feeling pretty good about herself (lots of increased levels of exuberance and feistiness going on over here๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™ˆ ) And so I call this the power stance. โœŠ๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜œ

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